


heros i have known and loved

by just_about_nothing



Category: Original Work
Genre: IT'S ME, Love, Multi, Nostalgia, Real people, The End of the world, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, i'm very biased, in some ways, times long gone, young girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 09:19:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7262152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_about_nothing/pseuds/just_about_nothing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>my personal heros of the theatre.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sophi

Sophi

I watch you, sitting across from me on the bus or sometimes next to me. I don’t wonder what you’re thinking. But I want to know makes you tick, how you view the world through eyes five inches higher than my own. I wonder if you’ve kissed Caramel and I find myself wanting to punch you in the face for calling her your bae. I look at your freckles and know that I couldn’t. I read the stickers on your guitar and think they’re witty and clever. You’re smart and funny and interesting and beautiful. I’ve known you for three summers and yet you remain an enigma to me. You say you write stories and music, sing, play the guitar. I’ve seen you sing and play, but _nada más_. I don’t think you’re a liar, but who knows.

I think about how you say that you want to leave Albuquerque and I wonder if I want to follow you. I think about how I want to stay and wonder if I care enough about you or anyone else to leave. I think about Tara, then, and wonder if I’d leave with her. You two share so many qualities but she’s less enigmatic. I notice that you’re the same shape as Sheva, as Yuki, as Caramel. I wonder if I’ll fall in love with you too. I can’t hold a decent conversation with you, yet I can with them. I think I’d prefer to remain in my current state of awe. 

I remember how I once called Jamie a goddess (before she got a girlfriend and _never_ to her face). I was mistaken. You’re too human to be a goddess. You exit the bus, leaving me with the knowledge that in a few years you will be.


	2. Tara

Tara

You’re unlike the others. You’re more of a woman. And what I love about you are the qualities that the others lack. I have daydreams about us dating but can’t picture it actually happening. I slap myself and ask why you’d fall for me the same way I’ve fallen for you. We flirt. I don’t pretend it’s anything more than a joke to either of us. But sometimes, only sometimes, I want to silence you with a kiss. I’d never do it but the temptation is there. 

If you put me in the so called “friendzone”, I’d not protest, because really, how would that be different than where we already are? I don’t care and, frankly, I wouldn’t expect anything more. It doesn’t matter, though, that I’d accept it. I don’t have the courage to tell you that I care for you. 

I don’t even know if I could date you. I love you but I don’t know if I love you in a way that means I can go out with you, or kiss you, or tell you anything important. I do know that I’d follow you around with tumblr posts and stupid jokes.


	3. Jamie

Jamie

I pray to every god that anyone has ever prayed to that your girlfriend doesn’t see this. I am sure she’d beat me up. I pray you don’t see this. I don’t want to estrange us during this last year.

I loved you, once, deeply. I wanted to move to Hollywood with you. You’d be the host on a comedy show and I’d produce and edit films. We’d be the scary powercouple. However, that was four years ago. You’ve changed. As have I. You’re not my type and you have a girlfriend. What you’ve become to me in these years is someone who I can only depend on for friendship. I got over you as soon as I met your girlfriend. Any remaining shards of love scattered when I met her. I’m no homewrecker. Plus you two are hella cute together. 

Had I been writing this four years ago, I would have described you as a goddess, as a glowing ray of light, the sun. That year, though, you had a harem that I wanted to join. I sat on your lap and I kissed you. That was the last time I got any action, actually. It’s relative.


End file.
